Prompt 3 (2009) asked students to discuss the way a symbol functions in the work from which it comes, and how that symbol adds to the meaning of the work as a whole.
3A. I completely agree with the score this essay got, which was a nine. But I feel sorry for anyone who had to read this essay (myself included) because this person's handwriting was really difficult to decipher. Coming from me, that's pretty bad. That being said, once the handwriting was out of the way this essay made some really good points. Like the grader, I thought their strongest paragraph was the one that talked about how Greggers compares himself to the dog. I have never read this book (The Wild Duck) but I definitely understood what the student was talking about when they compared the Hjalmar family to the wild duck being hunted by the dog, and why that symbol was such a powerful one in the context of the story.
3B. I find myself agreeing with the graders more and more as I respond to the Open Prompts. This student's essay definitely got better as it went. The beginning had me kind of worried, because the opening seemed kind of weak, saying that "'A Streetcar Named Desire' uses a lampshade to symbolize covering up the truth." However, as it progressed the student seemed to get a lot more comfortable with what they were writing about. Eventually, they were able to make the point that "the lampshade symbolizes her fantastical and unreal view of things." While in many places the wording seemed kind of awkward, and the punctuation was definitely not all that it might have been, this student still communicated their point pretty effectively. Because of that, I agree with the score they received, which was a six.
3C. One of the first things I noticed about this essay was that the student used the phrase "in my opinion" in their thesis. Since I have had it drilled into me since the beginning of time (or at least the beginning of my persuasive-essay-writing years) that this is wrong, I didn't go into this essay with high hopes. For the most part, I was right to not expect too much. There were some statements that could have been interesting, such as "[Okonkwo] wasn't living in a peaceful world," but they were only statements. There was never any evidence to back up the claims. Like the grader, I thought the final paragraph was kind of a let down. The final sentences of the essay were "Okonkwo did not have the machete w/ him when he hung himself. There is no pride in taking one's own life. And with that, there is no machete. So it symbolizes pride. Most of all." Not only is that a pretty loaded statement, it's also not really a conclusion. I think that this essay should have received a lower score than a four -- I would give it a three.
I think you did a really nice job and you made a point that I often find myself making: "I haven't read the book you're talking about, but I totally get it." When a writer is able to do that, you know they've done a good job. Make me understand this thing I've never even heard of and you will get a gold star. Or something. I also find that, like you, I find myself becoming one with the grader. At first, our grades were vastly different (mine were always much harsher), but as I go on, they are sort of merging together. I also agree that the last essay was pretty bad, and should have gotten a lower score. Especially for "So it symbolizes pride. Most of all,". Great job!
ReplyDeleteHello Emma,
ReplyDeleteThis open-prompt response was thorough and well written.
I believe that these open-prompt essays would be much easier to respond to if I had actually read the novels or plays that students talk about. Nevertheless, my score tends to be close to the AP Grader’s score.
The first essay was spectacular. I think the student knew that he/she would write a lot to support the thesis and claims, which explains the sub-par handwriting. The thesis was coherent and the body-paragraphs were well organized. The conclusions also got the job done.
Even though I am a rather lame essay writer, I found the last essay to be very inadequate. Its thesis was poorly written and the arguments were lame.
Overall, this was a well written response to the open prompt essays.
Hello Emma,
ReplyDeleteI remember looking at this prompt as well, and your analysis of the first writer seems pretty accurate, especially how you pointed out that the student's use of the symbol was well done. Pointing out the handwriting problem is also important, since that can affect your score.
Though I originally didn't have as positive of a view on the second essay as you, the evidence that you brought was actually a bit more convincing. I definitely had the feeling that the essay was awkward, and I felt that the author was not really sure of what he or she was doing.
I agree with the judgement that the last essay should have been scored lower, as its author really did not convey the sense that the literature was truly understood. The majority of the essay was really a jumble of "yeah, so this is a symbol", which was slightly irritating. Pointing out the last sentence really summarized the quality of the essay.