Prompt 3 (2004) asked students to explore the quote "literature is the question minus the answer."
N. I thought it was reassuring that even an imperfect essay like this one could receive an eight. The main reason it didn't get a nine was because of some errors in language and syntax, but even those didn't bring it down too much. By far the most important parts of the essay are the ideas that go into it and the way they are organized. If those are present, an essay can still do well even if it has some technical issues. I think that's what happened here. The student had some really good ideas, like talking about Candide's comment about how "we must tend our garden" and how they interpreted it. However, sometimes their language was a little informal, and there were spots where their phrasing was kind of awkward. Because of that I think the eight they received was completely justified.
J. This second essay really builds on the point I was making with the first one: if you don't go into enough depth with your analysis, the essay won't get a good score, no matter how good your technical skills are. This one had a pretty good concept, but I would have liked to see it explored a little more (or a lot more). Their technical skills weren't completely on point, but the essay seemed to be heading in the right direction. I think this student did have a tendency to act kind of like a "tour guide" sometimes. They went into too much detail about the plot instead of actually relating their writing back to the prompt. Still, they did get a six, which I think shows that even if your essay isn't spectacular you can get a pretty decent score. For someone like me who's a little bit nervous about the essay, that's reassuring.
U. This essay kind of confused me, to be honest. It seemed like they were off to a decent start: the question they found in the book (Do things ever really stay the same?) wasn't particularly innovative, but it was certainly a question that they could have explored successfully. However, they never really got to that point. Every sentence sounded like the start of a decent argument, but that was it. None of the arguments were ever really finished. As the grader said, they "danced around the issues that [were] introduced." I think that's the main reason they got a three - they introduced the ideas, which meant they were aware of them. They just never went into more detail, which is why their score wasn't higher.
Your responses to the essays were helpful because you mentioned some tips of what could have been done better. It is a good reminder of what to do and what not to do. For the first response when you mentioned the informality of the language it is another thing to check before writing. The readers probably do not want everyday language but rather a little higher use of language. I think that if you read over your essay again and see the way that certain items are phrased it can help get rid of most of the awkward phrasing. Your second analysis also gave great tips to remember. It is strange to read essays, like the third one you mention, that are just not expanded ideas or just random phrases put together. Definitely re-reading the essays is a huge tip, and I know that I tend to forget to re-read and maybe leave some awkward phrases. Overall your responses were well detailed and gave me some things to think about.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you included the scores of the writers and I really like how you gave your opinion on their score! What I disliked about this though was you were pretty vague and lacked examples to help prove your point. In the second essay, what was the author doing to make him a tour guide? What were some of the technical things that the author did? In the first paragraph, how was the language informal? What words did they use to lead you to believe this? Using examples will help me understand your points and criticisms of why the author did this or that and why they failed to answer the question or not. Finally, in your second paragraph, don't worry! I'm nervous for the writing essay too!
ReplyDeleteHello Emma
ReplyDeleteJust before I begin...am I the only one who thinks that the prompt seems a little on the...um...nutty side? A bit too much peanut butter smeared in there? If I am, then please disregard the earlier sentences.
Overall, I think that your analysis of the three essays may need a bit more textual evidence to support what you are saying. So, when you say that a student may have been lacking technical skills, you can show an excerpt that illustrates how that may detract from the essay.
I was a bit surprised when you wrote that the first essay was a bit informal, as that has not been something I have been thinking about lately in essays. It is a very valid point, though. I am sure that, being experienced students as we are, that may not be an issue, though.
You do a good job of analyzing the issues of the essays, though, getting the to core of what may have gone wrong; for example, you conclude by saying that the last essay "just never went into more detail".